Summer 2013

I started something back in grade 9. Each year of high school I would try and find something about myself that had grown, changed, matured throughout the year. And each year there was always something.
My perspective on my life changed as I grew up - one would certainly hope I would be seeing things differently at 18 than I had at 14!
And as much as I learned about myself in those 4 years of high school, much as I felt myself growing up, and believed myself to be ready and able to take on the grown-up world, this past year again has been monumental.
I had far from a flying start to my university career - they don't say first year is the worst for nothing, I can tell you that much. It was a relief to be finished with school in April, but I was left clueless as to what to do with myself after that. I had seriously considered taking this coming year off school, or perhaps just the first semester, but by the end I decided simply to take the spring and summer as a break, to work and relax and figure things out.
I went to Ontario for 3 weeks in May on my own, gained the experience of solo travel, met and visited my extended family. Got a break from my regular, boring life.

In many ways, this summer was quite unproductive; 4.5 months off, most of which was spent working at a dead-end retail job, no social life whatsoever.
But I've learned things about myself. I have accomplished things.
After having my L 3 years - in fact having to renew it last summer - I finally broke down, took driving classes and yesterday I got my N. Now I have a new-found independence that has opened brand new doors for me.
I had my last shift at my first job today. I had been there 2 years, and had finally hit a point where I had had enough, it was time to move on, take some time off and seriously focus on school this fall. That's a piece of my life-timeline right there: my first part time job.
And I am going back to university. I have my courses picked, and my textbooks purchased, and the beginnings of a plan formulated. I am going to study like never before, and probably not enjoy most of it. But I am going to succeed, and that will be worth every moment.

But most importantly though, what I have learned about myself this summer is that I am not a social person. Well, I didn't exactly just learn it - I've known that for a long time. But I have finally embraced it, and accepted that I will never be a party goer, I will never be one to be constantly out with friends doing fun adventures. I often feel like people don't understand me, and for the most part I don't really understand myself. It's as if, in a world of circles and squares I am a triangle: there is a place for me out there somewhere, it'll just be a little harder to find it.