Reflections

It's been almost two weeks since I last blogged. I've been busy with school, but I wrote my last exam today, so I figured it was time to reopen this blog and empty my brain of thought. I'll start with science, my today's exam. It wasn't just a science exam, it was a PROVINCIAL science exam; my first. This was going to be the year I got an A on every exam. It was going to be the year I rose to the top of the grade curve, it was my plan from the very beginning. But of course, being me, it was much easier to slack a little and take the average mid to low B. But I knew I'd bring my mark up on this exam. I had confidence. We had to write it on line. This morning when we were all standing around the computer lab to go in I said to one of my friends "I'm scared!" which at the time was kind of true. Well, my science teacher was right there and heard me say it and said "Don't be scared, you'll be fine." God, I wanted that A!!! Well when I walked out of there 2 and a half hours later I was 85% sure I'd bombed it. There were so many questions where I didn't have a clue. I was thinking, "I want an A, but I'll be lucky if I can get a B!!" The thing is though, is I didn't cry, or panic or in general, freak out which is what I generally do when I think I bomb on tests. I know I'll pass, and even if I get a C+, it won't ruin my life, it's still only grade 10, it's one class and I've still got a whole other semester to bring my GPA back up. It's now been a whole year since I first started grade 9 science (semester 2 to semester 1) and oh, the changes I've gone through. I've grown. I've grown up and I've matured and I think it shows. I'm making an effort, or trying to anyway and I think people are noticing. So science isn't my forte, and okay, math isn't either, but other things are, and I've found life to be a lot more enjoyable when I focus on the positive rather then the negative. That's over and done with and it's time to move on. It's funny, I usually feel a lot sadder at the end of the semester, but this time it just felt like the most natural thing in the world to have all my classes end halfway through the year and to know I'll get knew ones on Monday. It just felt like the right time for it to end. I could just feel that it was time. I think that's another sign I'm growing up. I know there'll be more in the future, and I can't wait for them to come. The world will never stop spinning, even when I'm old and gone. No matter what happens, no matter what we lose or how many mistakes we make or how many tests we bomb. No matter how bad we feel, eventually we always have to move on, no matter how long it takes. It's something we so often forget. Ten year from now, the little disasters of today won't matter. And for the most part, it won't fix anything to worry over them now. I trying to live by that from now on. I wonder how much better the world would be if everyone else did too?