Reflections

It's been almost two weeks since I last blogged. I've been busy with school, but I wrote my last exam today, so I figured it was time to reopen this blog and empty my brain of thought. I'll start with science, my today's exam. It wasn't just a science exam, it was a PROVINCIAL science exam; my first. This was going to be the year I got an A on every exam. It was going to be the year I rose to the top of the grade curve, it was my plan from the very beginning. But of course, being me, it was much easier to slack a little and take the average mid to low B. But I knew I'd bring my mark up on this exam. I had confidence. We had to write it on line. This morning when we were all standing around the computer lab to go in I said to one of my friends "I'm scared!" which at the time was kind of true. Well, my science teacher was right there and heard me say it and said "Don't be scared, you'll be fine." God, I wanted that A!!! Well when I walked out of there 2 and a half hours later I was 85% sure I'd bombed it. There were so many questions where I didn't have a clue. I was thinking, "I want an A, but I'll be lucky if I can get a B!!" The thing is though, is I didn't cry, or panic or in general, freak out which is what I generally do when I think I bomb on tests. I know I'll pass, and even if I get a C+, it won't ruin my life, it's still only grade 10, it's one class and I've still got a whole other semester to bring my GPA back up. It's now been a whole year since I first started grade 9 science (semester 2 to semester 1) and oh, the changes I've gone through. I've grown. I've grown up and I've matured and I think it shows. I'm making an effort, or trying to anyway and I think people are noticing. So science isn't my forte, and okay, math isn't either, but other things are, and I've found life to be a lot more enjoyable when I focus on the positive rather then the negative. That's over and done with and it's time to move on. It's funny, I usually feel a lot sadder at the end of the semester, but this time it just felt like the most natural thing in the world to have all my classes end halfway through the year and to know I'll get knew ones on Monday. It just felt like the right time for it to end. I could just feel that it was time. I think that's another sign I'm growing up. I know there'll be more in the future, and I can't wait for them to come. The world will never stop spinning, even when I'm old and gone. No matter what happens, no matter what we lose or how many mistakes we make or how many tests we bomb. No matter how bad we feel, eventually we always have to move on, no matter how long it takes. It's something we so often forget. Ten year from now, the little disasters of today won't matter. And for the most part, it won't fix anything to worry over them now. I trying to live by that from now on. I wonder how much better the world would be if everyone else did too?

January Sunshine

I've been taking a blogging break. But I'm back now to reflect on a slight miracle: a beautiful afternoon of January sunshine after a week of dark, dismal rain. It's been raining (and flooding) all over the southwest coast of BC almost all winter, which as everyone knows could pose a huge problem to the coming winter olympics. Here's hoping it holds off for them. Last weekend the 7 day forcast called for at least a week of rain, but this afternoon it cleared up a bit and by the end of the day I was able to walk home with beautiful sunshine pouring over the drenched city. It was certainly a much appreciated break here for us. I've been busy planning for exams and wrapping up the semester, and we've got extra pit band rehersals as the musical approaches. I can feel the stress level of our teachers ever slowly rising, but I know we'll pull it off and it will be amazing. It always is and everybody knows it.

I have spent the past week considering where I stand in life. My friends, my grades, all that I can achieve in my life and the busy spring I'm about to step into. (More on that later) Last night was an open house at school for grade 8's to pick a high school for next year. I couldn't believe how many showed up!!! I was there as a guide. Every time there's an orientation I try to be there to help out. It gives me a great sense of accomplishment (and superiority) to look at them and remember where I was, not all that long ago, and then look at how far I've come and where I am now.

And of course, everybody knows about the tragic earthquake that hit Haiti this week. My school along with the rest of the country has jumped onto the helping wagon. Bake sales and donations jars have been organized for the coming week to raise money towards helping out in any way we can. I'll be sure to put some money in the jar on Monday. If my 5 dollars can help heal the sick or feed the hungry, I'll gladly give it. We often forget how fortunate we are here. Winters here tend to be long and dreary, but on the sunny days, I can stop and reflect on everything I have and for that I am grateful. Grateful for sunshine. It is so beautiful.

School... continued

It's almost as if we were never gone! There's less then 3 weeks left in the semester and everyone's scraping to finish in time. I have to start/finish one last sewing project. Not to mention exams!!! For science I have to write my first ever PROVINCIAL exam!! It's on the 29th, the last day of exam week as well as the last exam of the day. But it'll be fine. I just have to keep reminding myself to breathe and everything will work out great, just like it always does in the end. I'm kind of worried about socials. I mean, I absolutely love Canadian history, everyone who knows me knows it's my insane, thriving passion (next to writing of course) but my notes aren't really organized very well and we missed some stuff around the middle of the semester. And science, well that's not my strong suit. I'm going to study my brains out for the next few weeks if I want to do well enough to move my grade from a low B to a high(ish) A. Then there's all the other stuff that keeps popping up that we have to have done in the next three weeks.
Aaaauuurrrrgggghhhh!!! Who do they think I am? Wonderwoman?? (I meant that jokingly. Remember what I said about ''it'll all be fine'') Well speaking of all that I'd better get to it. One good thing about today though: It stopped raining!!! Yay!! It absolutely downpoured all of yesterday and most of today. They don't call it the "Wet Coast" for nothing!

Home Again

Fifteen hours after I woke up in Kitimat this morning I'm sitting here in my own house writing this. It was a very long day; A forty minute drive from Kitimat to the airport at 8:30 this morning, then an hour waiting for the flight to leave and an hour and a half long flight to Vancouver which got in around noon. We landed in the rain which is always a sure sign we've returned to the southwest coast. We couldn't get a direct flight home so we had to wait almost 2 hours for the PCL bus to come and then it was close to another hour through Richmond and Tsawwassen and out to the ferry. We caught the 3pm so we were in Victoria a little before five. We stayed on the bus and got off near our house and walked home dragging our suitcases behind us. Fortunately there wasn't frozen slush on the ground like last year. After we dropped off our stuff we had to drive out and pick up our dog from my dad who'd been fostering him for the holidays, and we got groceries on the way. I had cereal for dinner (I miss my aunt's cooking!)
and now I'm here. Tomorrow I'll unpack, do laundry, move the pile of stuff off my desk (or not?) and attempt to organize my room a little and finish my homework. Then it's back to school on Monday. Thus the cycle continues. It'll be screaming busy from now until summer I know, and I can't wait to get going on it!! You'll probably notice I have been and will be saying that a lot lately, but it's just such an exciting prospect for me!! Pardon the repetitiveness should it arise.

2010 New Years Resolutions

1. This year I will publish some form of my writing. Be it a story, book, whatever, it will get published this year. I will also deticate at least 20 minutes to writing at least 4 days a week.

2. I will work very hard and get strait A's this year. I will also work on overcoming procrastination and attempt to become better motivated.

3. I will work on starting/completing certain projects that I have been creating in my head for a long time.

4. I will swim at least 20 lengths a week (or more) every week until my first aid courses start in March.

5. I will find friends or family members who will hold me to my resolutions so they actually happen.


2010 will be a good year. I know this on the first day of the year. I can't wait to jump into the next 364.

Reflections on 2009

Looking back, I think I grew more in 2009 then I have any other year of my life. Not physically of course, I'm not any taller or wider then I was a year ago. But mentally, emotionally I've grown. I've learned to put things into perspective, to let the little stuff go and accent on the good rather then the negative. I've learned to think about how my actions will affect others and solve my own problems, while asking for help when needed. I've gone (ever slightly) outside my comfort zone and tried new things. I've become more aware, observant, confident, capable and relaxed. I'm working towards my goals and my dreams, and step my ever tiny step they are coming into form. 2009 was an absolutely amazing year (with a slight hiccup of not-greatness at the beginning). Now I can look ahead into 2010 with excitment and plans of greatness. Check back with me in a year to see how that went for me. :) ;)

Skiing Update

Well, a few days ago when we went skiing it was a good day. I made 6 runs total, a few on the easy main run, a few on a harder one and I always went up the chair with my mom or my uncle or my cousins. The first few runs that day were a little hard and slow for me because I had to get my ski legs back. On the harder run, it's called 'Panhandler' I was going a little fast over an icy bump on a steep hill, and I crashed over the bump, lost both skis and poles, rolled over a bunch of times and almost slid into a tree well. It was fine though, I landed in powder.

Today, my cousins went up to the hill at the crack of 8am with their friends and I went up with my mom and aunt and uncle around 10. My mom didn't feel up to skiing so she stayed in the lodge and socialized and I went up with my aunt and uncle. My aunt needed to get her ski legs back today so my uncle coached her a bit and I took off alone. At the bottom I couldn't see anyone so I went back up the chair alone. It's a long bumpy lonely ride alone and so was skiing back down alone too. I passed my cousins and their friends a few times. Usually I skiied under them when they were on the chairlift. I made 5 runs alone and then I had to go in and get some feeling back into my fingertips. Back on the hill a while later I met my uncle on the top of the hill and we were going to ski down together but I got going ahead of him and I actually had to wait for him at the bottom before going up one last time.
Total runs made today: 7
Total times I went down the hill alone: 6
Total times I went up the chair lift alone: 5

It wasn't until later that everyone told me how fast I'd been going. I was just plowing down that mountain every time they caught sight of me they said. My uncle (a very experienced skiier) said he tried to catch up with me like 3 times and he couldn't because I was going so fast. This I should mention is only the 6th year I've been skiing in my life and I'm very impressed with how capable I've become. That's one thing I've noticed throughout this year is how capable and confident I've become with almost every aspect in my life. It's a wonderful, in control feeling and I'm proud I've achieved it.