Too Much Technology

I realized something a while back: I am incapable of doing school without a computer, or internet. School didn't used to need those things, it was just about showing up and learning. It was about books and paper and pencils. Until I started middle school I didn't need a computer for anything. I was just fine the way I was. But now, nearly 9 years later, into my second year of university, I literally cannot do school without going online on a daily basis; Email, Moodle postings, web notifications, Facebook groups, support programs for classes, looking up online research journals, it's crazy!! And most of it we do every day without even thinking about it.

And yes, I realize the irony in my saying all of this into an internet blog, but just go with me here. I'm a 21st century kid with a 19th century spirit. It gets confusing sometimes.

Being that dependant on internet and social media can lead to issues. Like today, my Hotmail account would let me put anything in the text box to write a message - don't ask me why, it just said for security reasons the composer couldn't allow content to be displayed. Aren't I the composer...? - and I was stuck. I need that email account for school information, contact with professors and other students, not to mention anything else that comes up where an email contact is required. And if it doesn't work, my life is quite debilitated.

What happens when something happens, say a major storm, and power is down for days. No internet, no cell phones, no contact with the outside world. We can't function. And yet, we did function just like that until about 20 years ago. So what changed? Technology, that's what. And don't get me wrong, I do enjoy basic - key word - technology. I have a blog, and a Facebook account, I use email. I enjoy the ease with which to do research online. I have a basic android smartphone, which I use mostly for texting about 10 people and an alarm clock. But that's it.

Everything else is beyond me, and to be totally honest, rather frightening. The idea that you can make a video on an iPhone, post in to YouTube, and within a minute it can be seen 1000 times around the world, is a frightening concept. What happened to privacy? Does that even exist any more? Anything you say, anything you do, you can't rely on the fact that people will forget about it, not in a world of smartphones, Twitter, YouTube and who knows what else! Everything on the internet is there for life, not just life, eternity! And people don't even think about it. Really, some of the things I see people post to Facebook is over the top inappropriate; swearing, sexual, homophobic/racist. Yeah, they may only be stupid teenagers now, but they won't be forever, and all that stuff is still going to be up there for someone to find.

It's getting too complex, the idea that you can link you email, Twitter, pinterest, or who knows what else to your Facebook account seems a little excessive to me. And the idea that you can do that from the palm of your hand anywhere... yeah, not big on that either.

What ever happened to waiting a week to hear back? Now everything is just getting faster, faster, faster, and we have no patience anymore; our society has no concept of waiting. This is bad. Very, very bad.

If anyone out there actually does read this, and if you disagree with anything I have said here, I'm ok with that. That's your opinion, and it's totally fine. This is my opinion. And my opinion is that we have to stop while we're ahead, slow down and catch up, think about what we're doing, lay back and breath, just stop and think for just a minute before plunging in headlong without looking. This is 2013. 10 years ago, they didn't even have iPod's yet, camera phones were unheard of, texting was still brand new. If all this has happened in a decade, what else is coming, and are we, as a society really ready to handle it?   

Monster Malahat

No matter where you live, everyone, at some point during the growing up process learns to adapt to their environment: what is around where they live, and the best ways to live according to those surroundings. Well me, I grew up in BC, and from an early age I have been adapting to - and indeed loving - that my surroundings include forest, ocean, mountains, hills, and long curvy highways built off the sides of those mountains, snaking through the endless forest.

But it's not enough to know what's there; you have to know how to properly live in it. And if I'm being perfectly honest here, when it comes to those long curvy highways, people as a whole in general are absolute freaking idiots. There are a few highways around the south coast where city people get outside the city, but don't lose the aggressive city driving habits: the Sea-to-Sky outside Vancouver, the Malahat north of Victoria.

The Malahat is a section of the Trans-Canada highway that runs from just outside Victoria to Duncan, about 45 minutes north, and it is an incredibly busy road. A lot of people live in the areas outside Victoria, or further up island in the little communities between there and Duncan, and commute down every day.

But by all accounts, it shouldn't be dangerous. There is one lane up, one lane down, and for a large chunk of the way, a concrete meridian down the middle.But there are corners, sharp corners around the side of a mountain and though the posted speed limit may be 80, occasionally 90 km/h, people routine roar up at over 100. And when it rains - which is most of the year - or gets icy - most of the winter - and people are going too fast they lose control, resulting in these catastrophic crashes.

People die unnecessarily on that road on a far to regular basis. And for what? To make the ferry? To be 10 minutes earlier? Is that worth the loss of human life? But apparently most people aren't thinking that far.

The thing that scares me the most about our changing world is the ever increasing speed at which things need to happen. Think about it, everyone has a smart phone, you want to know something, you've got internet in the palm of your hand. Witness something, you've got a built in camera and in 30 seconds you've put a video on YouTube. Everything is getting faster and faster, and it's building up the expectation within us that everything has to get faster and faster. But it still takes 2 hours to drive to Nanaimo, and 6 hours to fly to Toronto, and that's just the way it is.

And for those of us living here on the west coast of BC, we have to accept that there are mountains and corners, and it takes extra travel time to accommodate them. It's not worth it to risk it.

Summer 2013

I started something back in grade 9. Each year of high school I would try and find something about myself that had grown, changed, matured throughout the year. And each year there was always something.
My perspective on my life changed as I grew up - one would certainly hope I would be seeing things differently at 18 than I had at 14!
And as much as I learned about myself in those 4 years of high school, much as I felt myself growing up, and believed myself to be ready and able to take on the grown-up world, this past year again has been monumental.
I had far from a flying start to my university career - they don't say first year is the worst for nothing, I can tell you that much. It was a relief to be finished with school in April, but I was left clueless as to what to do with myself after that. I had seriously considered taking this coming year off school, or perhaps just the first semester, but by the end I decided simply to take the spring and summer as a break, to work and relax and figure things out.
I went to Ontario for 3 weeks in May on my own, gained the experience of solo travel, met and visited my extended family. Got a break from my regular, boring life.

In many ways, this summer was quite unproductive; 4.5 months off, most of which was spent working at a dead-end retail job, no social life whatsoever.
But I've learned things about myself. I have accomplished things.
After having my L 3 years - in fact having to renew it last summer - I finally broke down, took driving classes and yesterday I got my N. Now I have a new-found independence that has opened brand new doors for me.
I had my last shift at my first job today. I had been there 2 years, and had finally hit a point where I had had enough, it was time to move on, take some time off and seriously focus on school this fall. That's a piece of my life-timeline right there: my first part time job.
And I am going back to university. I have my courses picked, and my textbooks purchased, and the beginnings of a plan formulated. I am going to study like never before, and probably not enjoy most of it. But I am going to succeed, and that will be worth every moment.

But most importantly though, what I have learned about myself this summer is that I am not a social person. Well, I didn't exactly just learn it - I've known that for a long time. But I have finally embraced it, and accepted that I will never be a party goer, I will never be one to be constantly out with friends doing fun adventures. I often feel like people don't understand me, and for the most part I don't really understand myself. It's as if, in a world of circles and squares I am a triangle: there is a place for me out there somewhere, it'll just be a little harder to find it.

Does Good Mean Sad?

I'm having writer's block. Well... that's not exactly an accurate statement. See, I've been telling stories since I was a baby babbling at my toys from the jolly-jumper, I've been thinking of my story ideas since I was 9, and been seriously putting these stories to paper since I was 14, I've got "writer" ingrained into my soul. I write fiction for fun. And I write for myself: my thoughts, opinions, woes, musings. Sometimes when I'm writing for myself I have so many ideas that I can't even put them down fast enough; sometimes I just start talking to myself, spewing ideas and opinions about the world, it's past, present and future, and what scares me about it.

Writing used to come easily for me. I could just sit at the keyboard and the story would come pouring out. It always had a dark twist, as they say "sad stories make good books." It used to be so simple for me to write the dark and depressing stuff, in fact I sought it out in reading material. But as I have grown up I have gotten a different spin on things, become more sensitized towards it I guess. I don't want to write about death and destruction and war, but then where does the plot line go? There has to be a conflict and a resolution in a basic story line, we did that in basic high school English classes.

And so when unwilling to write about the dark stuff, writing fiction comes harder and harder. But why is that? Why is it that I'm so convinced a story will not be good if it's only happy? Do stories have to be sad and sinister to be good? And here's another spin on things: does someone have to die in order to have the desired conflict necessary for the "good story"? So many things to think about. For the meantime I am stuck with a pile of half-started stories and novels, and no ideas as to how to proceed with them.

I know I am a good writer, I've been at it long enough. Some day I'll be one of the classics. But in order for someday to come, I have to get through today. And today I'm just a girl with writer's block.

I'm sure they all said that at one point or another... 

Life Blood

I gave blood for the first time today. I had tried before, last week, but got a bit light headed just from the pin-prick when they checked my hemoglobin levels, so that didn't work. However, it was important for me to do it, so back I went today to try again. I knew exactly what they were going to do, and how it was going to work, so I thought as long as I didn't look at it all would be well. And for the most part it was. They take a pint of blood each time you donate, and I didn't quite get that far because although I wasn't squeamish about it, the blood loss made me dizzy anyway and they had to stop. That being said, they got enough out that it counts as my very first donation. Even if they didn't quite get enough to give to someone, they can still use it in research, or for medicine or treatment products. I have a donor card on the way, and in 56 days I will be able to try again.

This week is national blood donation week. The need is great, and the results save lives.  I have very good, healthy blood and now someone somewhere will benefit from it. For me personally, because my grandmother died from kidney failure, and my aunt was killed in a car crash, both well before their times, so it was important for me to do this.

If you have ever considered donating, I recommend looking into whether or not you can. It is uncomfortable, but it is also extremely rewarding.  

As their slogan says: it's in you to give.

An insight into me, myself and others

It is a known fact that we are generally more critical of ourselves than we are of anyone or anything else. Well, I am no exception to this. And the older I get the more I have noticed this about myself, and I have found it has started to impede my life - in terms of happiness, and also in terms of actually having a life, which I currently do not.

Even now, as I'm sitting here writing this I keep going back, auto-correcting, editing, constantly going back to fix what I've said, to make it better, convinced that if it isn't perfect it'll make me sound like a babbling idiot. There was a time when writing came much faster and easier for me. I can remember sitting in grade 11 English class, assigned to make a children's book for my grade 1 reading buddy, and faced with the task of coming up with the story board. And I was stuck. I don't write from a structured outline like that, I just start writing, and the story comes to me as I work through it. Or at least it did.

As I worked my way through the end of high school and into the beginning of university I became more and more concerned about how people saw me; what were they thinking of me by the things I said and did, the way I acted etc.? I screened everything carefully, and thus turned myself into a side-liner, and not always a happy one at that.

Looking now at the people I admire most, the people who, in my mind anyway, have happy, full, engaging lives, are the way they are because they don't screen everything they do and say. Now granted, at some point everyone will say something they immediately regret, will think "I should have thought about that before I said it" that's just a fact of life. But for the most part, as it has been told time and again, just being yourself is more important.

And I am a writer. I can't help it, it's inside of me. There are too many thoughts in my head at one time; big thoughts, worldly thoughts, philosophical thoughts. They have to come out. And like most writers, I wanted all my thoughts to be shared with others. Not everything, some things are just too personal to share with anybody, but some of my bigger questions, my ponderings and musings. That's where this blog came from: a way to share my thoughts in a manner that others could see. And then a few months later I stopped because.... well really, I was 15, who knows why I did anything!

But then talking with a seasoned and wise woman in my family, and an experienced blogger herself, she inspired me to start again. Because I'm not writing this to be analyzed by others, or to be judged. I'm writing it for me. There is no "right way to do it." If there are big gaps, if it doesn't look like other blogs, that doesn't matter. That's not what's important.

While in high school, I found that every year I learned one major valuable thing about myself that enabled me to grow up, and change and adapt into adulthood. Well, here's something else: I'm not done learning yet. There never comes a point in a life when there aren't new things to discover, about the world or about yourself. I am a writer, and I do it because I want to, I need to and I enjoy it. I want others to read what I have to say, and eventually become known and loved, but for right now, doing it just for me in my own way is good enough.

Youth and Innocence

Have you ever heard the expression "ignorance is bliss?" It could be interpreted as offensive, I mean, the term ignorance is not used in kind context anymore. But if you think about it, there is truth to the statement. To be ignorant is to be unaware, and sometimes being unaware of the goings-on around us can help to retain our happiness. There is a lot of hardship in the world right now, and it can get pretty bogged down and depressing if you start thinking too hard about it. Ignorance is bliss, aka: unknowing is happiness.

What about "children are resilient" have you ever heard that one? That's another good saying. If you're talking about innocence, children are as good as it gets. At birth, there are 2 things a baby knows instinctively how to do: suck, grab. That's it. Everything else has to be learned and acquired later on. It is said that being born is the scariest experience that can ever happen. Now mind you, that's said from the cushy, fortunate North American stand-point. I'm sure there are those in the world who would think differently on that. But lets say it is. So, there you are, warm and safe all bundled up in this dark little cocoon, and then suddenly you're rudely shoved out head first into this bright loud place, poked and prodded and who knows what else. And then, your put in the arms of the woman who carried you inside her for all those months. Wrapped up, warm against her skin safe and innocent once more.

Children are epitome are youth and innocence. They don't control who has them, where they are born, what happens surrounding their birth. They are born into the world and have to adapt to whatever their situation is. Sometimes they are wanted and loved and cherished, other times pampered and spoiled beyond belief. Sometimes they are unwanted, rejected, burdening. Sometimes they are forced to grow up too fast because there are others who need things from them and they don't get to need anything for themselves. But through it all, they are resilient and they are innocent.

You can put a toddler in a car, and they can fall asleep in the blink of an eye, and when they wake up they could be at home, or the grocery store or in Mexico, and they still sleep because they haven't yet learned not to trust the people who have them in their care. That comes later. For a few short and sweet years, they are ignorantly in bliss. We talk about people ruining the world, well maybe the world ruins people. It is said that the hardest thing about this world is living in it, death is the easy part. And it's true, the world is not an easy place to live in. Bad things happen, often things beyond our control and we have to adapt. Everyone has to learn that at some point.

So, let children be innocent. Keep them sheltered and safe from knowing what they can become capable of. Retain them in a bubble of warmth and pampering and love. Let them fall asleep not knowing where they'll be when they wake up, but trusting that they will be all right. We have the rest of our lives to know stuff. Let ignorance and bliss last as long as it can.  

Beginning Again

I am a writer. I always have been. I want people to read what I have to say. I gave up on this blog 3 years ago, not long after I started it. At the time I felt like it wasn't for me.

But that was 3 years ago. I've changed considerably since then.

I am away from home right now, on a journey to visit my various maternal cousins. Speaking with one of these cousins the other day, made me realize that I want to do this again. I think it means something; it's important, worthwhile. I want to thank her for letting me see that.

This blog is aptly named: Into the Quiet Mind. I started it to let people into mine, to share my tangled thoughts with the world. And I want to do that again.

I could easily have scrapped it, and started a new one, but I'm learning that as you go through life it is important to finish the things you start, no matter how much time goes by. Everything deserves to be carried out.

So here we go. 3 years and 3 months later, I'm back.

Beginning again.

Post Groundhog Day

A week ago, the groundhog saw his shadow, which traditionally speaking, means 6 more weeks of winter. I tried to explain how groundhog day works to some of my friends, but they didn't really get it. If he sees his shadow, which he's afraid of, he goes back into his hole for another 6 weeks. If it's cloudy, it means an early spring. Well, January was uncaractaristically warm this year, (though my dad says people say that every January in Victoria, which based on the past few years is true) and we had a beautiful first week of February, but today it rained. That doesn't mean anything though. It rains a lot here all year. It's hard to believe it's February already. The semester's barely started and I've got so much to do this spring that I just know I'll blink and it'll be over just like that. Every year older I get goes faster. Our school musical opens in 2 weeks and we are now in major, scrambling, cramming, panic, stress mode. But we'll pull it off, just like we do every year. Well, last year I did concession, but this year I'm actually part of the show, living my high school dream of being in the pit band. The music's really hard though!! It wasn't written for our level of playing I don't think. It's great practice to be pushed that hard though. And like most other things in life, it's not that hard after you work with it a bit. It really makes things easier once you figure that out.

Reflections

It's been almost two weeks since I last blogged. I've been busy with school, but I wrote my last exam today, so I figured it was time to reopen this blog and empty my brain of thought. I'll start with science, my today's exam. It wasn't just a science exam, it was a PROVINCIAL science exam; my first. This was going to be the year I got an A on every exam. It was going to be the year I rose to the top of the grade curve, it was my plan from the very beginning. But of course, being me, it was much easier to slack a little and take the average mid to low B. But I knew I'd bring my mark up on this exam. I had confidence. We had to write it on line. This morning when we were all standing around the computer lab to go in I said to one of my friends "I'm scared!" which at the time was kind of true. Well, my science teacher was right there and heard me say it and said "Don't be scared, you'll be fine." God, I wanted that A!!! Well when I walked out of there 2 and a half hours later I was 85% sure I'd bombed it. There were so many questions where I didn't have a clue. I was thinking, "I want an A, but I'll be lucky if I can get a B!!" The thing is though, is I didn't cry, or panic or in general, freak out which is what I generally do when I think I bomb on tests. I know I'll pass, and even if I get a C+, it won't ruin my life, it's still only grade 10, it's one class and I've still got a whole other semester to bring my GPA back up. It's now been a whole year since I first started grade 9 science (semester 2 to semester 1) and oh, the changes I've gone through. I've grown. I've grown up and I've matured and I think it shows. I'm making an effort, or trying to anyway and I think people are noticing. So science isn't my forte, and okay, math isn't either, but other things are, and I've found life to be a lot more enjoyable when I focus on the positive rather then the negative. That's over and done with and it's time to move on. It's funny, I usually feel a lot sadder at the end of the semester, but this time it just felt like the most natural thing in the world to have all my classes end halfway through the year and to know I'll get knew ones on Monday. It just felt like the right time for it to end. I could just feel that it was time. I think that's another sign I'm growing up. I know there'll be more in the future, and I can't wait for them to come. The world will never stop spinning, even when I'm old and gone. No matter what happens, no matter what we lose or how many mistakes we make or how many tests we bomb. No matter how bad we feel, eventually we always have to move on, no matter how long it takes. It's something we so often forget. Ten year from now, the little disasters of today won't matter. And for the most part, it won't fix anything to worry over them now. I trying to live by that from now on. I wonder how much better the world would be if everyone else did too?

January Sunshine

I've been taking a blogging break. But I'm back now to reflect on a slight miracle: a beautiful afternoon of January sunshine after a week of dark, dismal rain. It's been raining (and flooding) all over the southwest coast of BC almost all winter, which as everyone knows could pose a huge problem to the coming winter olympics. Here's hoping it holds off for them. Last weekend the 7 day forcast called for at least a week of rain, but this afternoon it cleared up a bit and by the end of the day I was able to walk home with beautiful sunshine pouring over the drenched city. It was certainly a much appreciated break here for us. I've been busy planning for exams and wrapping up the semester, and we've got extra pit band rehersals as the musical approaches. I can feel the stress level of our teachers ever slowly rising, but I know we'll pull it off and it will be amazing. It always is and everybody knows it.

I have spent the past week considering where I stand in life. My friends, my grades, all that I can achieve in my life and the busy spring I'm about to step into. (More on that later) Last night was an open house at school for grade 8's to pick a high school for next year. I couldn't believe how many showed up!!! I was there as a guide. Every time there's an orientation I try to be there to help out. It gives me a great sense of accomplishment (and superiority) to look at them and remember where I was, not all that long ago, and then look at how far I've come and where I am now.

And of course, everybody knows about the tragic earthquake that hit Haiti this week. My school along with the rest of the country has jumped onto the helping wagon. Bake sales and donations jars have been organized for the coming week to raise money towards helping out in any way we can. I'll be sure to put some money in the jar on Monday. If my 5 dollars can help heal the sick or feed the hungry, I'll gladly give it. We often forget how fortunate we are here. Winters here tend to be long and dreary, but on the sunny days, I can stop and reflect on everything I have and for that I am grateful. Grateful for sunshine. It is so beautiful.

School... continued

It's almost as if we were never gone! There's less then 3 weeks left in the semester and everyone's scraping to finish in time. I have to start/finish one last sewing project. Not to mention exams!!! For science I have to write my first ever PROVINCIAL exam!! It's on the 29th, the last day of exam week as well as the last exam of the day. But it'll be fine. I just have to keep reminding myself to breathe and everything will work out great, just like it always does in the end. I'm kind of worried about socials. I mean, I absolutely love Canadian history, everyone who knows me knows it's my insane, thriving passion (next to writing of course) but my notes aren't really organized very well and we missed some stuff around the middle of the semester. And science, well that's not my strong suit. I'm going to study my brains out for the next few weeks if I want to do well enough to move my grade from a low B to a high(ish) A. Then there's all the other stuff that keeps popping up that we have to have done in the next three weeks.
Aaaauuurrrrgggghhhh!!! Who do they think I am? Wonderwoman?? (I meant that jokingly. Remember what I said about ''it'll all be fine'') Well speaking of all that I'd better get to it. One good thing about today though: It stopped raining!!! Yay!! It absolutely downpoured all of yesterday and most of today. They don't call it the "Wet Coast" for nothing!

Home Again

Fifteen hours after I woke up in Kitimat this morning I'm sitting here in my own house writing this. It was a very long day; A forty minute drive from Kitimat to the airport at 8:30 this morning, then an hour waiting for the flight to leave and an hour and a half long flight to Vancouver which got in around noon. We landed in the rain which is always a sure sign we've returned to the southwest coast. We couldn't get a direct flight home so we had to wait almost 2 hours for the PCL bus to come and then it was close to another hour through Richmond and Tsawwassen and out to the ferry. We caught the 3pm so we were in Victoria a little before five. We stayed on the bus and got off near our house and walked home dragging our suitcases behind us. Fortunately there wasn't frozen slush on the ground like last year. After we dropped off our stuff we had to drive out and pick up our dog from my dad who'd been fostering him for the holidays, and we got groceries on the way. I had cereal for dinner (I miss my aunt's cooking!)
and now I'm here. Tomorrow I'll unpack, do laundry, move the pile of stuff off my desk (or not?) and attempt to organize my room a little and finish my homework. Then it's back to school on Monday. Thus the cycle continues. It'll be screaming busy from now until summer I know, and I can't wait to get going on it!! You'll probably notice I have been and will be saying that a lot lately, but it's just such an exciting prospect for me!! Pardon the repetitiveness should it arise.

2010 New Years Resolutions

1. This year I will publish some form of my writing. Be it a story, book, whatever, it will get published this year. I will also deticate at least 20 minutes to writing at least 4 days a week.

2. I will work very hard and get strait A's this year. I will also work on overcoming procrastination and attempt to become better motivated.

3. I will work on starting/completing certain projects that I have been creating in my head for a long time.

4. I will swim at least 20 lengths a week (or more) every week until my first aid courses start in March.

5. I will find friends or family members who will hold me to my resolutions so they actually happen.


2010 will be a good year. I know this on the first day of the year. I can't wait to jump into the next 364.

Reflections on 2009

Looking back, I think I grew more in 2009 then I have any other year of my life. Not physically of course, I'm not any taller or wider then I was a year ago. But mentally, emotionally I've grown. I've learned to put things into perspective, to let the little stuff go and accent on the good rather then the negative. I've learned to think about how my actions will affect others and solve my own problems, while asking for help when needed. I've gone (ever slightly) outside my comfort zone and tried new things. I've become more aware, observant, confident, capable and relaxed. I'm working towards my goals and my dreams, and step my ever tiny step they are coming into form. 2009 was an absolutely amazing year (with a slight hiccup of not-greatness at the beginning). Now I can look ahead into 2010 with excitment and plans of greatness. Check back with me in a year to see how that went for me. :) ;)

Skiing Update

Well, a few days ago when we went skiing it was a good day. I made 6 runs total, a few on the easy main run, a few on a harder one and I always went up the chair with my mom or my uncle or my cousins. The first few runs that day were a little hard and slow for me because I had to get my ski legs back. On the harder run, it's called 'Panhandler' I was going a little fast over an icy bump on a steep hill, and I crashed over the bump, lost both skis and poles, rolled over a bunch of times and almost slid into a tree well. It was fine though, I landed in powder.

Today, my cousins went up to the hill at the crack of 8am with their friends and I went up with my mom and aunt and uncle around 10. My mom didn't feel up to skiing so she stayed in the lodge and socialized and I went up with my aunt and uncle. My aunt needed to get her ski legs back today so my uncle coached her a bit and I took off alone. At the bottom I couldn't see anyone so I went back up the chair alone. It's a long bumpy lonely ride alone and so was skiing back down alone too. I passed my cousins and their friends a few times. Usually I skiied under them when they were on the chairlift. I made 5 runs alone and then I had to go in and get some feeling back into my fingertips. Back on the hill a while later I met my uncle on the top of the hill and we were going to ski down together but I got going ahead of him and I actually had to wait for him at the bottom before going up one last time.
Total runs made today: 7
Total times I went down the hill alone: 6
Total times I went up the chair lift alone: 5

It wasn't until later that everyone told me how fast I'd been going. I was just plowing down that mountain every time they caught sight of me they said. My uncle (a very experienced skiier) said he tried to catch up with me like 3 times and he couldn't because I was going so fast. This I should mention is only the 6th year I've been skiing in my life and I'm very impressed with how capable I've become. That's one thing I've noticed throughout this year is how capable and confident I've become with almost every aspect in my life. It's a wonderful, in control feeling and I'm proud I've achieved it.

The Days Following Christmas

It's hard to believe, my fifteenth Christmas come and gone. Christmas morning itself gets less and less exciting every year older I get. I got nice presents; a few hoodies, books, chocolate, manicure set, a bunch of writing stuff. My mom gave me a ticket to Cirque de Soleil when they come to Victoria next September which is a totally awesome present!!! It utterly amazes me how flexible they are!! I think a girl at my school used to be involved with Cirque de Soleil in some way. And my aunt from Japan called us and it was nice to hear from her again. Japanese Christmas is like a big date night, so is Valentines Day and Thanksgiving doesn't even exist!!

Christmas Eve we did all go over to my aunt's parent's house for dinner. It was fun, good food, nice people. We all went over there again this morning (well, afternoon really) for brunch-lunch. I know all my family on my dad's side in Victoria had Christmas dinner together at my grandma's house. I almost wish I'd been there because I'm always saying they don't get together enough. But there's always next years Thanksgiving for that. As for our family back east; I'm sure our distant family in Oakville had a huge, happy family Christmas, and if my aunt, uncle and cousins in London are reading this... I'm sorry we haven't called you yet!!

Boxing Day here, my uncle and cousins went skiing but I woke up in a total non-wanting-to-ski mood so I stayed behind. I'm regretting it hugely and we're going up again tomorrow fortunately. I'm a much more confident skiier then I was a few years ago and I've long abandoned the rope-tow. The chairlift no longer scares me and I even promised to try the t-bar at the top of the chair lift to get up to the bigger runs. I can't go home again having not tried that. I'm sure my uncle will me fine to take me up the first time. And I promise to not freak out!!!

Today after brunch we went for a ride in my cousins Teryx (an off-road 4 wheeler that my uncle adapted a bit. It's about the size of a smart car. I rode on it a couple times when I was here in the summer and I even got to drive it a few times, and I only put it in the ditch twice!!!) It lives in a warehouse on the edge of Kitimat during the winter so my mom, my uncle, my 2 cousins and I drove out and rode it through the woods halfway up the side of a mountain (in the snow I might add!!). It was so cold the wind was just whipping through my quite warm winter jacket and the part of my face my helmet didn't cover; my eyes, ears and mouth were just frozen solid. But it was so beautiful. Just picture it: a forest full of trees and not a single leaf on any of the branches, but sparkling virgin snow layering the trees, covering the ground in a thick blanket and showers of icy sprays filling the air now and then.

My aunt and some of her family were waiting for us when we got back. They made another trip or 2 up but I only went once. But one time when it was just my aunt my cousin and I waiting in the car because it was so cold and she asked me if I WANTED TO TRY DRIVING THROUGH THE PARKING LOT!!! I actually said no at first (I'm studying the driving guide book, but I'm not 16 till February and I was scared) but eventually I said yes. She was very patient with me: "Put it in drive, now forward, okay stop, now into reverse, good, now shoulder check and back slowly then back into drive..." and more of the same. I did a few slow loops of the parking lot and actually enjoyed it. Everyone else was just pulling into view like a second after I parked. My aunt said I would tell my mom I was just sitting in the drivers seat but after they babbled about the ride it just popped out. My mom and uncle were both shocked and impressed that I'd done it. My cousin wanted to drive too, so badly, but my aunt wouldn't let him. He's only 13 after all. However he can drive the Teryx and he did a bunch of donuts and even I got to drive it again. At first my donuts were "lame" as someone put it to me, but then I got the hang of "gunning it" and they got better. It's much easier than driving a car.

So, a very eventful day for me. More tomorrow to report on my exciting skiing experience!! Wish me luck!

Christmas Eve

How an entire year has gone by this fast and we've once again returned to Christmas Eve is absolutely beyond me, but we are. It seems like the older I get the faster time goes. Will it be like that forever? I don't know.

But that doesn't matter. It's 11:30 on Christmas Eve morning and I've got to wrap some last minute stuff, have lunch and get ready for the get together at my aunt's parents house. Her whole family is here and we go there for Christmas Eve dinner every year we're here. It's always lots of fun, even though they're not my family. They're still very nice. Well, gotta fly! More tomorrow!

JOYEUX NOEL!!!

The Journey North

It suddenly occurs to me that I never did explain how we got to Kitimat. It's a two day drive here from Victoria and an absolutely beautiful one in the summer. You can either take the ferry to Vancouver and then drive halfway up (to about Quesnel or Williams Lake) in one day and then the rest of the way the next day or drive to Port Hardy at the north end of Vancouver Island (an 8 or 9 hour drive from Victoria) in one day and then take a 15 hour ferry trip to Prince Rupert the next and drive 3 hours to Kitimat from there. I've done both ways several times and it's absolutely beautiful.

However, it's December and it's not so beautiful a drive this time of year so we flew. We couldn't get a flight out of Victoria so we ferried to Vancouver and flew out of there. After spending the whole day in the airport (we went hours early so my mom could go to ikea. Yeesh!!) we were finally ready for takeoff. But then there was a mechanical problem and our flight was delayed for about an hour while we waited for a replacement plane. While waiting, another flight going to Smithers also had a mechanical problem and several others were held up because of weather at their destination point. One flight to Cranbrook had to be redirected to Edmonton!!! That means bussing back across the mountains in the middle of winter. Not fun.

Well, we finally got on our flight and not 15 minutes out of Vancouver there was another mechanical problem and we had to go back to Vancouver so they could fix it. They told us to wait an hour for another replacement plane, but while we were waiting I heard someone say they'd fixed it after about 5 minutes. Aurgh!!! It's less than a 2 hour flight from Vancouver to Terrace but with a 3 hour delay that adds up quite a bit. Oh, plus then there's the 45 minute drive from the airport into Kitimat. And they got snow here a few weeks ago that wasn't very much and wasn't really worth plowing, so everybody drove over it and it turned into slush which then froze and iced over every street and driveway in town, very much like the odd time it snows back home. It's like, no matter where you go you can never really win. Life's funny like that isn't it?

Blame Game

People fascinate me. Like, the relations, the interactions, the feelings and emotions, thoughts and actions everything. Sometimes I wonder if some of what people do is simply human nature and can't be helped. What I'm really thinking of right now is blame. For example, think about when something bad happens. Most people seem to imediately say "It was her fault..." "It was his fault..." and it just goes on and on, everyone trying to put everyone else at fault for whatever it was that went wrong. Nobody wants to be the bad guy but everyone wants to be the hero right? Another thing I've noticed people do is blame themselves. "This is all my fault. If only I'd... If I hadn't done... If I'd looked sooner..." you see what I mean? It just goes on like that. But maybe that's just part of what we as a species are. Maybe it's just human nature and unstoppable. It's an interesting thought don't you think?